I’ve never made new years resolutions. This is the year! A few little things I’m going to work on:

And then the main one.

Engage, think, write, argue, learn. I’ve skated along the past few years taking things as they come. Nothing wrong with that, it’s been marvelous. This year I want to do a bit more.

Respond proactively instead of “in one ear and out the other”. Catch myself before frustration, boredom, or distraction can stop my train of thought. Do more with ideas than tacking them to an ever-growing list. Make them happen and share them.

It’s been years since I’ve written beyond basic correspondance. I gradually stopped journaling, tweeting, photographing, and generally being aware of and cataloging my thoughts. Lately when I want to play with a notion or coherently brain dump I struggle more than I’d like. When I try to reason something out I feel a tad dull. I come up with something, knowing it isn’t quite good enough. “I’ll fix it tomorrow,” but I don’t.

I used to think I could do stuff because I’m smart. Maybe the smarts are fading. Hopefully they’ve finally landed me somewhere interesting enough that sitting back and letting instinct do all the work won’t cut it.

For the first time I want more from myself than I have—or know how—to give. 2014 is my year to figure out where to find that stuff, form it into positive habits, and use them to do interesting things.

There’s the metaphorical gym membership. Time to go for three weeks then bury it somewhere and remorsefully and gain 15 pounds.

—01 Jan 2014